Katherine J. Witbeck and Lee C. Sonko, authors of the only race packet to be completely disregarded by Plot Committee for being "too darn silly," bring you the long-awaited, often imitated, never duplicated: POWERGAMERS' HANDBOOK (v 1.0) DISCLAIMER: For amusement value only. Do not take this too seriously or leave on skin for extended periods of time. Use of Powergaming at the same time or immediately following Roleplaying may increase flaming on the mailing list or irritation of certain individuals. If this occurs, discontinue use and flush throroughly with water and a grain of salt. WARNING: The practice of Powergaming may result in the following: "10. John Finnegan will automatically hate you. 9. The Duchess will think you're evil: 'nobody with that much stuff could have gotten it honestly.' 8. No one will trade with you anymore. 7. NPCs will delight in killing you. 6. Nobody thinks that powergamers can roleplay. 5. They change the rules on you mid-stream (see also: Iron Golem). 4. They make Top Ten lists about your character, 3. Other players think you cheat. 2. Arrogance and greed in-game are confused with arrogance and greed out- of-game. 1. You might end up with two spirit-linked weapons and have to strap one to your back." (Frank Valenti) *CREATING YOUR CHARACTER FOR POWERGAMING First rule: Play a human. This way you don't have to worry about being expected to spend your hard-earned build a rarely-used racial abilities, and you don't have to memorize any stupid race packet. "Never buy a production point skill with your build. " (F.V. 8-16-95) "Never spend build on a skill you don't have to buy or don't want to buy." (F.V. 8-16-95) Being bottled doen't necessarily make you a powergamer. (John Finnegan about Kelial 7-25-95) *ROLEPLAYING YOUR CHARACTER "Being a powergamer does not mean you don't roleplay." (Steve Gaffney 5-13-95) Even powergamers will sit through a very long dinner when there is gypsy dancing and cute company. (F.V. 4-10-95) *STUFFQUEST "Search anything that's down." (Jim Quirk 5-14-95) "Powergamers like ITEMS, not build. Actually, powergamers like BOTH." (F.V. 5-16-95) "Items make the character powerful, not levels." (F.V. 5-16-95) "Those who are powerful will always max out." (F.V. 5-16-95) "The game is not about maxing out; not for me anyway." (F.V. 5-18-95) "If you decrease the amount of money put into game, then chances are that the high-level people and powergamers will still max out..." (Jonathan Stein 8-15-95) *EVENTING A REAL powergamer would sign up for two events at separate chapters in one weekend, bag [the groovy magic item] on Saturday night, kill [the big-nasty monster] after breakfast, and then be back on Stuffquest at the other chapter at 2:00 pm. (J.F. 4-20-95) addendum: Explain this in-game with "fast horses" (F.V. 4-21-95) *MOTTOES AND OBSERVATIONS OF THE TRUE POWERGAMER "First rule of Powergaming: NEVER CHEAT" (F.V. 5-16-95) Powergamers know that it's not a rules cheese to have a battle-board of scrolls or a Scroll-o-Dex. (derived from Killianero's message 5-12-95) Whenever adding or changing rules, be sure to include powergamers and rules abusers to tell you how best to abuse the new rule systems. (F.V.) "Casting-on-the-fly is the biggest piece of powergaming I have seen in a long time and I intend to abuse it to the fullest." (Michael Witbeck 5-95) Most powergamers agree that the messenger's guild is a "stupid waste of good money [they] could use to buy scrolls to kill monsters to get more stuff." (Jen August 8-16-95) "If I mention [the powergamer's handbook] anymore, feel free to smack me in the back of the neck." (F.V. 5-18-95) "Powergamers don't have to register their mailreader." (Lee Sonko 8-22-95) [ see: * WinQwk 2.0b#0 * Unregistered Evaluation Copy] *IN CONCLUSION As you can see, anyone can contribute to the infamous Powergamers' Handbook. So please laugh it off and don't flame us. Too much. ;) --Lee and Katherine (boy, were we bored!)